Roads to Ruin
by The Sleeping Tide
Summary: The roads that lead to darkness are many. There are things that can not be so easily forgiven or forgotten. contains rape and Yaoi
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer- I own nothing, no suing for you  
  
Inuyasha X Miroku non consensual  
  
E-mail- Wind_voyager@yahoo.com  
  
By_ Clockwork Knight  
  
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Roads to ruin   
  
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part one Fall  
  
Let the rain in, let the rain fall  
  
Let it wash away the tears form your eyes  
  
Let it in  
  
Because it hurts to fall…..  
  
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Rain fell in sheets, whipping the small forest into a frenzy of branches and leaves. The wind howled in its furry as it blew through the eaves of the small abandoned hut nestled in its heart.   
  
The small group had been split up by the storms sudden oncoming furry, dividing them like it was a living thing.  
  
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Pain.  
  
It was all he was aware of. Searing pain  
  
Inyuasha hit the ground hard, his body refusing to listen to his minds demands. He strained to try to move but his muscles turned to jelly. The smell of damp earth still wet from rainfall filled his lungs as he gasped for air.   
  
No mater how he struggled he couldn't move, just lay there face down on the ground.  
  
All his strength fled his body as the wounds from a previous fight flared up, pain shot up through his broken ribs as the ends ground together. He groaned, biting down on his lip to keep the sound from escaping.  
  
He could feel Miroku's hands on his shoulders, shaking him. His voice drowned out by the wind as the storm threatened to start up again.   
  
His breath seized in his throat as a wave of pain washed over him, something warm flowed over his shoulder and the bitter smell of blood filled the damp air. The demon had hurt him far worse then he let on, his pride not letting up even as he lay on the ground.  
  
His vision wavered.  
  
His throat seized up as he tired to yell, nothing but a pained groan came out.   
  
He clawed at the moist ground as darkness crept up on his mind.   
  
Unconsciousness came up like night, sudden and dark.  
  
"Kogoame…….." the single word left his dry tortured throat as he sunk deeper into nothingness.  
  
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Pain washed his mind in have that seemed to be with no end, his breath came in gasps, his chest struggling to raise with each hard fought breath. He groaned softly, his fire rat kimono sticking to him like a second skin, trapping the heat of his fevered skin. Miroku tried to be careful as he removed the soaked pelt form him, trying not to hurt him any more then he already was.  
  
Inyuasha moaned something out in his semi conscious state and grip the pelt tightly to his shivering frame, forcing the monk to pry his clawed fingers off it.   
  
It hung heavy in his arms as he left it on the floor nearby, leaving the hanyou clad only in a white under shirt and his pants.  
  
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The damp stale air stirred over his skin, his robes draped over pieces of broken chairs that were piled in one corner as if the occupant had left in a hurry years ago, leaving the hut to slowly return to the ground from which it came. Leaving him dressed only in a pale white under shirt that stuck to him.   
  
He watched from Inyuahsa's side as he started to come back around. His hands tightening on the staff, the metal rings jingling slighting in the stale still air. His fever seemed to worsen as the night grew on.   
  
He watched, as Inyuasha stirred in his fever dream, part of is shirt fell open, revealing his tanned  
  
firm chest half covered in stained bandages.   
  
Miroku smiled as he looked down at the young half-breed. He was so beautiful. Long silvery white hair matted with rain and sweat gleamed in the light of lighting flashes and the pale moon that rained thin weak beams of cold light through he caked windows. Inuyahsa's lips parted slightly as he panted from the heat.  
  
What would it be like, to take those soft lips in to his own, to taste him?  
  
He reached down to sooth the tangled locks off his forehead, admiring the softness of the strands through his fingers. The heat form his fever seeped into his hand as he drew back slightly. The others would not be able find them until morning and only if the storm broke. His looked so innocent sleeping, his delicate face framed by silvery locks, all the gruffness gone. Replaced with a look of slight sereneness underlined by pain and exhaustion.  
  
Inyuahsa groaned, his eyes remained closed.  
  
Almost as if guided by a mind of their own his hand found its way to the soft white shirt, gently pulling it aside so he could drink in the uncovered chest of the unconscious Inyuasha.  
  
He laid the staff down on the floor; no one knew they were out here, alone. How long had he been waiting for such a moment. To be along with him, even just for a few hours.   
  
He let his hand trail through the matted wet hair and over an ear; he had to carry the hanyou after he collapsed. His arms still ached at the thought of carrying him to the small hut.  
  
Inuyasha, still unconscious, did not respond to the gentle touch.   
  
Moving closer he claimed Inyuasha's open mouth in a passionate kiss, pushing his tongue into his partly open mouth.  
  
Tracing his tongue over the warm moist surfaces of his warm mouth, his hands started to roam as he pulled the damp shirt open all the way.   
  
A soft choked cry erupted from Inuyasha's throat as his body stiffened under the touch. His eyes opened slightly, unseeing and clouded in pain.  
  
He grabbed his wrists and pined them to the hut floor much harder then he intended as he feebly tried to push him off, barely conscious. A low groan bubbled from his throat.   
  
He trailed his lips down his collarbone and chest as one hand held his wrists to the floor and the other slipped below the band of his pants. He watched as Inuyasha's chest moved with each breath, he was so beautiful. Like something from a fairy tale.  
  
Inuyasha moved weakly below him, sweat covering his skin.  
  
He cupped the heat in his hand, feeling it stiffen at the soft touch as he ran his fingers up it. Inuyasha squirmed more beneath him.  
  
With little effort he managed to pull the half demons pants off, ignoring his soft whimpers  
  
" You have no idea how much I need you."  
  
A soft low sound came from the half-breeds throat as his back arched slightly as pleasure clashed with pain in his veins. He had a harder time holding the struggling Inuyasha down as his lips caught on a nipple.  
  
He stuck his tongue into Inuyahsa's hot mouth again, this time with more force, tasting him.  
  
Miroku released Inuyasha's wrists, knowing that he no longer had the strength to fight back as it was drained by an ocean of seething darkness of pain and pleasure entwining around his once bright soul. Inuyasha went limp, seemly giving up.  
  
He backed up and started to undress, letting the damp shirt fall to the floor followed by his pants, leaving him completely uncovered in the dim light.   
  
The skies darkened and rumbled throatily as the storm took back over, sealing the night in a shield of clouds. Lighting flashed, quicksilver tongues poking at the pregnant bellies of clouds in sensuous ways, tempting their release.  
  
His skin was dripping with sweat.  
  
He held onto Inuyasha's waist with one hand, encircling it so he couldn't escape if he somehow regained his feeble strength.   
  
He could feel the heat of his body over his, seeping in like rain water, getting under his skin as the thick smell of male arousal hung in the air like jungle mists, fertile and damp.  
  
Inuyasha made small noises like a wounded animal in the back of his throat, the fear in his golden eyes going unnoticed by the young monk as he felt his legs being forced apart, his body unable to comply with his minds screams to run, to move, to do anything but lay there.  
  
Miroku pushed his hardened erection against the warmth of the hanyou's rear for a moment before giving a hard shove.  
  
A scream was torn out of Inuyasha's throat as his back arched in pain, his claws digging at the floor, leaving deep ruts in the wood.   
  
His mouth tried to form words but the only thing that came forth was pain stricken sounds, his eyes begged Miroku to stop. This wasn't like the young monk he had come to know as a friend.  
  
Pain assaulted his already torn body, he drifted in and out of consciousness, clinging to the edge of light in desperation, not wanting to fall into the dark void that was hot on his heels waiting to devour him alive and suck he deeply in to nothingness were his body could rest.  
  
He screamed again as something inside ripped with the hard thoughtless thrusts as he squirmed on the floor, his hands often pinned to it to the point his bones creaked under the pressure. Blood ran freely, covering the inside of his thighs and the floor equally in a pool of crimson as the wounds reopened.  
  
His chest was barely able to hold enough air for his lungs as he screamed or whimpered in agony, everything became a blur of pain and heated lust.  
  
The soft cries of pain reached only death ears.   
  
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Miroku woke to a pounding headache and a dim awareness he was completely naked, shivering slightly in the now cool air.  
  
He reached about blindly for his clothes, his body complaining harshly with each move as his brain tried to sort out what had happened to no avail. His mind was shrouded in a thick fog.   
  
He winced at the distant sound of a scream in his head, remnants of a horrible nightmare that would rob him of his sleep for days to come. It seemed so real, Inuyasha's pained screams still echoed in his skull as he pulled his shirt on, slightly damp form the nights rain.  
  
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" Inuyasha?" he whispered, reaching out to see if he was awake. The bitter stench of blood hit like a hammer, even in the dim light he could see the bandages were all but soaked and his skin was deathly pale, his golden eyes tightly shut.  
  
" Inuyasha?"  
  
The first thing that came to Inuyasha's mind was he was hurt, badly. And cold. His golden eyes opened slightly, adjusting to the darkness quickly. His memories of the long night before came in a flood as if the dam had been burst, along with it came the pain. The horrible burring pain.  
  
He cried out miserably and tried to curl up, his ribs screamed in agony at the move, his breath catching in his chest. The tears flowed down his face, mixing with the blood and semen that covered the floor and his body. He tried to force his aching protesting body up and collapsed.  
  
A hand settled on his shoulder, he turned his eyes upwards to the owner.  
  
An abrupt whimper came form his throat as he tried to crawl away and failed, his body no longer had the reserves to move. He lay there crying, a miserable ball of pain as his chest rose and fail erratically with the gulping breathes between whimpers and soft cries.  
  
Miroku felt sick, the fear he saw in those once vibrant golden eyes ate away at him. Inuyahsa tried to crawl away at first; he evenly curled up into a ball and cried.  
  
He could only stare, frozen in place by the weight of horrendous guilt that rooted him to the floor like nails.  
  
He couldn't have…there was no way he could have done that to his friend. There was no way.  
  
Miroku reached out again, all but crawling himself to the hanyou who lay on the floor. He couldn't help but to see how he actually cringed at his touch.  
  
He snatched the fire rat kimono off the floor from were it lay and wrapped Inuyasha's nude form in it, feeling him shiver under the warm pelt as he cradled him in his arms, resting his head on his shoulder as he slowly rocked Inuyasha as if he was a child.  
  
" I'm sorry…. I'm so sorry.. How could I have ever done anything like that?" he whispered, Inuyasha showed no sign he had heard him.  
  
Miroku clung to him tightly, letting his own tears mingle with the half demons, running his hands through his matted mane and over his ears in a vain attempt to calm him.  
  
He felt beyond sick, he was nauseas with grief for what he had done to his friend.  
  
Could Inuyasha ever forgive him, could he ever forgive himself ?  
  
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Unknown to either of the inhabits, a small circle of silver and glass gleaned with a sinister light form high in the rafters. The dark surface brewed with a magical storm that swirled and shifted with a life of its own.  
  
The lighting flashed, dancing off its ornate curves, flashing tiny ghosts of light and shadow off it for a brief moment before dying out.  
  
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The rain slowly let up slightly before continuing its heavy assault, lashing the small huts slopping roof with gallons of rain that swept away the dark stain of the world and flushed it away so a new one could grow in its place, a cool dark green growth that would soon take its place and die and the seasons past and re grow over and over again as the world would.   
  
Seeking to forever remove the sins of the world and wash them away but only breaching the surface, never touching the lonely darkness that bore silent to the working of everything and watched the world turn one more day and fester ever darker inside all living things.  
  
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TBC  
  
Roads to Ruins part two-Hurt 


	2. Hurt

Disclamer- I own nothing, no sueing for you  
  
E-mail - Wind_voyager@yahoo.com  
  
Big thanks to my alpha reader Maxwells02demon  
  
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Hurt  
  
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Roads to Ruins Part two   
  
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"Inuyasha?"  
  
He kept the death grip on the rat pelt, his eyes still closed and ears laid back so they pressed into his skull. Miroku brushed the silvery strands off his forehead, feeling the extreme heat from the fever raging in his broken body.   
  
He sighed and pressed the cold cloth to his forehead, trying to take some of the heat from his still form. His chest had barely risen with each gasping breath; this was a time he dearly wished Kagome were here.  
  
At the thought of his friends, the guilt of what had happened the night before came crashing down like the rotting structure of an old house. His shoulders slumped as if it was a physical weight that dragged at him, not one that clawed at his emotions.   
  
He vaguely wondered what the others would do. Sango would most likely kill him, but he wouldn't blame her though. He felt filthy, like a beast that had crawled up from the primal mud and wallowed in its own misery to long.  
  
His hand tightened on the only bit of cloth he could find in the ruins of the hut. Water from above had dripped to the rutted worn floor, the soft pattering echoed dully through the still warm air as the rain beat a hollow sound on the roof.  
  
He felt sick, wanting to purge the guilt and dark deeds from his mind of lock them away so deep they would never be found, but it wouldn't help Inuyasha.  
  
Inuyasha groaned softly, pulling the kimono even tighter around him, as if it could ward off the things in the dark that lurked just out of reach of the mind and eye.   
  
He couldn't get over the fear he saw in his eyes as he pinned him down to the floor, it would be something that would haunt him for a very long time.   
  
He gently put his arms around his waist and carefully lifted the gravely injured hanyou off the floor despite Inuyasha's weak protests; he wriggled slightly trying to escape his captor's arms. His strength drained away, leaving him a whimpering ball of pain and sorrow.  
  
Miroku tired to get the kimono off but Inuyasha had a grip only death's cold skeletal grasp could relinquish on the pelt; there was no telling how bad his injuries had become. He decided not to push it. He needed to feel some thing secure after what had happened last night.  
  
Part of the fire rat kimono slipped during Inuyasha's weak struggle, revealing part of his thigh. The smooth tanned skin shined with sweat.  
  
No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't take his eyes off of it. His hand seemed to gain a mind of its own, seeking the warm flesh below, slipping loose the grip it had on Inuyasha waist, and slipping over the soft damp expanse of red fur that ruffled under his fingers.   
  
He caught himself just as it neared the only thing keeping his own flesh from pressing against the half-breeds; he snatched the wayward hand back. Something stirred in his groin and he bit down on his lip in attempt to focus on anything but it.  
  
Every time Inuyasha shifted slightly he unknowingly rubbed against the monks growing erection. Small bursts of fire danced behind his eyes like fireworks on a calm winter night sky—each showing the soft colors against a crisp, black back drop of night sprinkled by stars.  
  
Inuyasha instinctively snuggled closer to the source of warmth, his clawed hands holding the monks robs tightly. His body screamed in pain with each move and his jaw clenched with each little creeping pain that ran up his spine, akin to serpents.  
  
Miroku leaned farther back against the wall, trying his best to ignore the sensations that plagued him like a disease; it ate away at everything until it left behind a trail of burning nerves that lit up the sky like a forest fire made of the purest lust.   
  
"Gods, do I love you. I..need you so bad." His hot breath whispered against the soft ears that swiveled to catch his words.   
  
He breathed deeply of the soft, woodsy scent of the hanyou, letting it fill his lungs and mind.  
  
A hand gently pushed the fire rat pelt off a shoulder, exposing the soft, almost unflawed, skin that glowed under the soft flashes of lighting. His skin being heated by the fever that the monk had been trying to bring down, beads of salty sweat left a long trail behind as it made its way down his shoulder.   
  
He let his questing fingers trace feather light patterns down his back under the pelt, feeling Inuyasha stir slightly in his sleep.   
  
His tongue darted forth to catch the open mouth, sweeping across the dry cracked lips before pressing his own moist one firmly into Inyuasha's. He licked the edges of his mouth and delved deeply in the hot sweet depths, craving his taste. His let his hands run through his damp hair, feeling the sickly strands caress his fingers.   
  
" M-Miroku... " Inuyasha's harsh whisper was muffled by the forceful kiss, his clawed hands gripping the edges of his fire rat kimono weakly. His mind was clouded in a haze of pain and heat, making even the smallest move hard, as if his body was built of lead.   
  
He struggled weakly, a wave of fear washed over him, giving him the much need strength to fight back. With one hand he pulled the kimono over him and tried to force Miroku off his body.  
  
He looked up into the young monks eyes, searching for anything in desperation as his strength steadily bleed out; there was a heated lust that drove icy fingers down his spine. A hand snaked around and grabbed his wrist tightly in a vice-like grip.  
  
He winced in pain, a few tears springing to his eyes as he shut them.   
  
" Fight it. What ever it is, fight it! Fight it, Miroku! Please fight it!" his mind screamed out to the cold uncaring darkness that threatened to shroud his vision.  
  
His warm lips trailed kisses over his sweaty skin, down his throat and over his collarbone, drawing soft whimpers from Inuyasha; his eyes stayed tightly closed as a tear fell from them.  
  
" Fight it, fight it, fight it!" It was his mind that could scream; the only sound that came from his throat was a whimper or hiss of pain as his half-healed injuries were jarred. His demon blood was draining all the reserves it could find to heal the wounds, leaving him weak and nearly defenseless.  
  
He squirmed under the gentle administrations as the only barrier between them was slowly removed. It was lowered till his shoulders were exposed to the cool air of the hut, his body was covered in sweat as Miroku pinned his arms behind his back, putting strain on a few of his injuries and causing them to bleed sluggishly.  
  
His back arched and a yelp tore from his lips as a nipple was taken between the monks teeth and bitten none too gently on.   
  
His eyes went wide as his limp manhood was engulfed by heat, the soft pads of a hand wrapped around it. He wriggled and squirmed to no avail, finally going limp.  
  
His breath came in ragged gasps, bubbling rapidly in his chest. His once silver hair had hung around him in a dull matted hallo, his torn ears being pressed firmly against this skull as if he could keep out the sounds of his own moans.   
  
Miroku let his hands run over the limp flesh, drawing soft gasps from its owner as his skilled fingers ran over the head.  
  
Inuyasha turned his head away in shame, unable to stop the sensation that wracked his body. Tears fell freely from his eyes, washing over his hot skin.  
  
He offered no resistance as the kimono was pulled away from his body and he was pushed backwards.  
  
He barely registered his knees being pushed apart. He no longer cared; he was too hurt and too tired to fight anymore, even as his wrists were shoved roughly to the floor.  
  
He closed his eyes, biting on his lower lip and ripping it with his fangs. Bitter, coppery blood, coughed on it as it flowed down his throat.  
  
He screamed his pain into the night storm as he was thrust into, a few claws snapping off as he dug into the wood.  
  
He did nothing but cry, the cold floor constantly reopening all the small wounds on his back wasn't helping either. The pain all mixing into a sea of darkness that sucked him down, threatened to drown him with each dark wave that crashed over his head.  
  
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The rain pounded down on him as he leaned against the tree, the rough bark digging into his back through his robes, but he felt neither.  
  
Only the emptiness, and the crushing guilt.  
  
His shoulders slumped under its weight, head bowed. His dark hair dripped with cold rain.  
  
His arm ached form the bite he had received, four perfect, pearly white fangs had ripped into his flesh through the cloth. The pain throbbed, reminding he was alive.  
  
His chest barely moved with the racking sobs—he was too tired to cry anymore. There was nothing left to give.  
  
The rain could not wash away the sins he felt or the guilt, the heavy anguish smothered everything else.  
  
He couldn't get rid of the image in his mind as it was burned there; Inuyasha crouched in the far corner, his fire rat pelt held tightly around him. His uneven breathing could be heard above the rain and wind.  
  
Out of concern he had tired to approach him, never hearing the low growl, only the pain of the bite and the awful look in his once vibrant eyes.  
  
He shook with each dry, raking cry that came form his throat, tearing at the ground. Pulling great clumps of mud and grass up as he threw his head up and howled his pain at the heavens.  
  
He had severely hurt a most gentle soul and very close friend. He no longer cared what the others would do to him; what ever they devised could not match the pain he felt inside, swallowing him up.  
  
Inuyasha would never be able to forgive him, nor would the others.  
  
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TBC  
  
A Time to Heal, A Time to Forgive  
  
do you hate me yet? 


	3. A Time to Heal, A Time to Forgive

Disclaimer- I own nothing, no suing for you   
  
E-mail wind_voyager@yahoo.com  
  
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Part three Roads to Ruin  
  
A Time to Heal, A Time to Forgive  
  
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The rain had let up slightly, still coating the ground in a thick layer of water seeping into pools of still green water. The skies churned with thick grey clouds as the day waned and fell, letting the blanket of night smother the light. The rain washed down gutters mounted on slopping roofs covered in soot and rust, flooding the poorly maintained cobblestone roads.  
  
The air was laden with the smell of wood smoke, rain and the cold wind of winter chasing its heels. The resent rains washed out the colors so the town was turned into a watercolor painting that had been left in the sun too long. The houses were of pale white and grey wood, long pale brick chimneys spouted lazy curls of smoke.  
  
Somewhere barely outside the realm of night just as the sun glimmers its last before setting into a pool of blood tainted by the clouds of black and grey, serpents of silver sprout wings of electricity and dive among the sinister darkness of shadows that well from the earth and sky.   
  
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Inuyasha groaned through tightly clenched teeth, feeling the warm, coppery fluid flow down his throat. The pain swamped his senses; a burning wildfire that left dying sparks of raw tattered nerves in its hot wake. He griped the soft covers tightly, his claws piercing the material as the waves of pain pierced his very being.  
  
He became faintly aware of a low moaning sound, the sound of a grievously wounded animal bubbling from his own throat. His mind enshrouded by a haze of shadows and scarlet, phantoms danced there to unheard cords as he was seeped in raw agony and grisly trauma brought on by his wounds. The light seemed to flicker, dancing gently and swaying like an open flame in the plain of darkness. But the wounded half-demon shied away from it, sensing the new agony it would bring, therefore, preferring to stay in the deep nothingness of unconscious.  
  
Something cold was pressed against his lips. He stirred from his sleep long enough to gulp the cool water that was offered, his wounds protesting as he moved. It washed away the parched dryness in his throat and settled heavily in his stomach. He coughed several times as it tried to flow down his windpipe, his body jerking slightly.  
  
He settled back down as the hand holding his head off the soft pillow gently let him back down, his silvery hair making a halo around him. His golden eyes were but half-opened and unseeing in the soothing darkness of the small hut. The air was warm and filled with the smells of herbs and wood smoke and the more underlying comforting smell of his friend's closeness.  
  
He couldn't recall the events of the last few days, much less how he had gotten here. All he could remember was pain and fear.  
  
He merely laid there, doing nothing but to try to keep the meager amount of water down as his insides revolted.  
  
Something warm snuggled against him, a hand rested on his chest on the stark white bandages. He went stiff in fear; his eyes flew open as he instinctively pulled the covers closer around him as if it could create a barrier from the night. A few tears leapt to his eyes.  
  
" Inuyasha? " a sleepy voice reached his ears as they swiveled to catch it.  
  
" Kagome... how.." it came out as a harsh whisper.  
  
He couldn't remember how he had gotten here. The last thing he could remember was sinking his teeth into Miroku's arm before passing out.  
  
Kagome moved her hand from his chest to his forehead, gently moving the strands of silvery-white aside. His fever still hadn't dropped despite the few days he had been in the healer's home.  
  
" We brought you to a healer's, a few days ago. You've been asleep since then." she whispered, silently thanking Kirara's sharp senses. They headed out shortly after the rain had halted, hoping the trail had not been washed away.  
  
Even in the dark she could see the fear that lingered there, deep in the once golden eyes that had turned a pale amber.   
  
" Inuyasha, what happened to you?" She reached up and stroked his hair, letting it fall through her fingers, and admiring the soft fluidness of the strands, each one gleaming in the pale light like pure silver. Carefully she reached over to the small table, picking up a cloth that was soaking in cold water and lightly wiped the sweat from his forehead and chest, trying to bring the fever down some. His face was pale and filled with tension, even under her light touch.  
  
He had refused any help from the kind old woman or any of the others; he allowed only her to help. He had a good grip on the fire rat pelt and wouldn't let loose easily. It took some convincing in the end. The old bandages were stained in old dried blood and sweat. She winced at the memory as it floated back to the surface; he cried every time she had to touch his wounds, even to clean them.   
  
The wounds had been horrendous, all deep. His skin had been torn away in several places, revealing sheets of red muscle over his abdomen, and a few of the demons claws that'd penetrated deeply into his gut, causing him no end of pain. His chest was just as badly off, the deep gashes lay his bone exposed to the light. His breaths came in shallow gasps; the sound of bone grinding against bone followed each one.  
  
She hated to see him in so much pain. He groaned under her fingers, his ears going flat against his head. He whimpered softly to the uncaring darkness as few tears slipped free, falling to the pillow.  
  
She swathed his heated skin with the damp cloth, cooling his fever, watching as his facial muscles relax and the tension drain slowly from his body.  
  
" Try to sleep a little, Inuyasha.."  
  
He nodded slightly, letting his eyes close, slipping back into the deep nothingness.  
  
The soft rain beat a soft rhythm on the wooden roof, absorbing the near painful silence of the room.   
  
She stroked his soft ears, noting his breathing evened out slightly. Even now, he was still beautiful. His sharp chin, soft ears, the shimmering strands of silver hair, and his eyes.. the deep golden expressive eyes that gave away his every emotion. Like mirrors to his soul.  
  
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Miroku slumped down against the wall, his dark hair falling into his eyes, no longer finding the strength to move. Too tired to cry anymore as it ate him alive inside, he couldn't face any of them; not now.  
  
He didn't move or respond even as Sango's warm dry hands took his own wet, cold ones into hers. She could feel his chest rise and fall with each breath as she cradled his cold form.  
  
" Damn Naraku. Damn him to what ever dark hell awaits to him for doing this. " The young monk only went limp in her grasp, but she let him rest his head on her shoulder as the dark warmth of the room settled around the pair like a cloak. Damn him for torturing them like that.   
  
The dread name was the only thing she had gotten out of him in over an hour before he simply fell silent.  
  
" None of this was your fault; never think that. Naraku was controlling you." If he heard her quiet words he didn't respond. He only moved closer to her, seeking some comfort.  
  
Sango held him tightly, letting her tears fall in the night.  
  
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Shippo lay curled in a tight ball in a bundle of Inuyasha's kimono on the floor, finally giving into his tiredness. Frankly, he craved it. After having a near fit of hysterics seeing Sango and Miroku carry in the wet limp mass that was Inuyasha.. yes, he did. A few tears shimmered a path down his face before falling unnoticed as he burrowed deeper into the warm mass of fur smelling of Inuyasha .  
  
Kirara sat in the far corner, her eyes never leaving Sango and the monk, she knew something was wrong but dint know what and this bothered her greatly. She watched them, forgoing even needed sleep to watch over her mistress as the dark night marched on and the dawn just scraped at the sky with its warmth hidden behind the mass of clouds as the cold winter flowed on.  
  
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TBC 


	4. Hold Back the Dawn

Disclaimer- I own nothing, no suing for you   
  
E-mail- Wind_voyager@yahoo.com  
  
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Hold Back the Dawn  
  
Part four of Roads to Ruins  
  
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His hand barely touched the cold iron handle of the wooden door as soft sound flowed through the warm air, like that of crystal chimes rubbing together.  
  
Kirara's eyes glowed in the dark with a life of their own, almost accusingly, as she watched the man who had woken her from her rightful sleep in the lap of her mistress.   
  
"I have to leave for a while, just need to sort some things out. I can't stay, not now. I need you to watch after them for me." whether she understood or not the small fox demon made no further sound, only watched with her large eyes that seemed to absorb the frail light of the room.  
  
He took the handle and opened the door. The early morning world that was just starting to stir, the air filled with the calls of birds and the still present sound of thunder grinding away at the bones of the earth. The grey skies turned a light red washed with the last remnants of night, still cloaked in rain. He wished the sun would not come up, for the dawn to be held back so the suns warm rays, even so hidden behind the storm, would not grace the sky .  
  
The air was cold and crisp on his skin, as he stepped out onto the small winding gravel road that led into the town perched on the edge of the wilderness.   
  
He never looked back as he headed out into the cool morning, his mind muddled with thought and his heart weighed heavily with grief.  
  
----------------------------  
  
Kirara watched him leave through a window she leapt to, his form disappearing around the bend of the forest from the small window.  
  
She sat there for several minutes on the windowsill, not knowing quite what to do. Her first instinct was to awaken her Mistress but something in his voice told her not to. She remained only a few more moments before leaping off to find the warm lap she had been so rudely forced to leave.  
  
-----------------------  
  
Lovers touched and kissed, a rapist did not. It was parody of love, a cruel act done in a moments notice on the cold hard floor of an abandoned hut in the middle of a rain soaked forest.   
  
He stared at his arm, the blood starting to seep through the hastily wrapped bandages were the razor sharp teeth had ripped though his skin like razors.   
  
Inuyasha had bitten him, actually bitten him. The hanyou had never physically harmed any of them even in his moments of rage; it was still hard for it to sink into his foggy mind. The pain was very real, the deep throbbing pain that spread up his wounded arm and shoulder.  
  
Inuyasha had bitten him several times, ripping the flesh and muscle when he tried to move him.  
  
It weighed as heavily upon him as a weight that dragged down at his body, pulling it steadily earthward. He slumped dawn against the old gnarled tree, fresh rain dripping from its bare branches, tears of the sky that he could no longer shed.  
  
Why did the sun have to come up, why couldn't it stay hidden behind the velvet night or the raging storm. If he could he would reach up and hold it back, pulling back the comforting blanket of night and the storms that still rolled forth.  
  
He slowly got to his feet, the staff clutched tightly in his hand. The dawn had come any way, seeking drive away the storm that washed the world clean, the sins of the night flowing into a dark mass of shadow that slipped unnoticed by many into the darkest reaches of the earth and the deepest holes were it would remain to wonder about tomorrow.  
  
The screams still echoed in his head like a never ending nightmare, the fear etched in those once lively golden orbs that he had gotten lost in, the stench of blood.  
  
He shook his head, as if trying to clear the images. Strand soft dark wet hair fell into his face, hiding his pained features form the oncoming dawn as it broke loose of the cold hand of night, shedding light.  
  
He wanted to find the darkest deepest hole there was and crawl into it and stay there. It would do little good for the others; he had to face them sooner or later.  
  
The distant sound of people talking and loud music sought to derail his thoughts, maybe the town and a bar in it, some place he could think and be out of the rain.  
  
-------  
  
She started out the window, watching the silver rivers run down the dirty plane of glass. Still no sign of him, were could he have gone in this weather. She ran her fingers through Kirara's golden fur, trying to see past the dark shadowy world outside. Worry tugged at her mind, leaving a cold empty feeling behind.  
  
She had woken just as the dawn broke the night, suddenly realizing she was alone. No sign of the young monk that had been in her arms the night before, when he had all but knocked the door to the old healers hut down.  
  
In a state of near panic she raced out into the pre dawn, greeted by deep wells of shadow and light and rain that poured from the heavens. Only to turn back s the wind gathered strength once again to unleash its fury.  
  
" He's a good man. He just needs some time to himself to straighten everything out." Tanya , the healer, said from her spot by the warmly glowing fire; her wrinkled face seemed to glow in the warm light. If Sango heard her, she gave no indication, instead she continued to stare out the window.   
  
The elderly healer watched the young demon hunter by the window. She had dealt with many such things in her long life near the village. Rape was not as rare as it should be in the small tightly knit community. She shook her head slightly; it would be awhile before things got any better.  
  
The small group had come as the storm first arrived, all but the monk and half demon, seeking shelter form the rain which she gladly welcomed them in. She rarely had visitors any more, there was little room for an old lady in the world now.  
  
The smell of stew filed the room, whips of steam curled up from the cauldron bubbling to itself in the fireplace, the ancient hand made bricks blackened from countless years of soot, the once colorful tiles that surrounded the arch were faded and dull, the color bleed out from the years. Much of the large spacious hut was taken up by bottle after bottle of dried herbal powders lined on shelves with strands of dusty cobwebs draped over the lids, lending a musty smell to the air.  
  
------------------  
  
Inuyasha fought the urge to pull away from the surprisingly gentle touch, he never really liked to be touched, even in his fever ridden sleep he fought the hand on his chest. He squirmed slightly, clenching his jaw as he pulled on his injuries.  
  
"Inuyasha?"  
  
A wave of pain caused him to bite his lip as it burned through his exhausted body.  
  
"Inuyahsa...gomenesai." She sleepily murmured comfortingly into his ear, feeling him relax again. She dearly hoped Shippo wouldn't wake; she didn't want the young child to see what the demons claws did to the hanyous flesh.  
  
The poor thing had all but been wailing away when he saw Inuyasha, he steadfastly refused to leave the injured half demons side until he all but passed out from exhaustion, Sango carried his tiny sleeping form into the next room, letting him sleep on the fire rat pelt.  
  
She snuggled a little closer to his side, her hand never left his chest, feeling his all too visible ribs under the thin cloth. He had eaten what little Kagome managed to get down his throat. He whimpered softly in his sleep, his torn ears twitching as he fell into a nightmare.  
  
Tanya watches passively, knowing there is nothing more she can do. It is now all up to Inuyasha to heal the damage done to his body. But it would be a long time before the damage for the rape would heal on any of the small group.  
  
  
  
---------------------------------  
  
Shippo all but crawled out of the room, rubbing his still sleepy eyes with his tiny hands, his tail making dusty trials behind him as he wondered out of the room he had been sleeping in. After realizing were eh was, half asleep he trudged form the smallish room and towards were Inuyasha and Kogame were sleeping.  
  
Barely awake, he clutched at the overhanging cloth of the bed and pulled himself up, nestling against the half demons side before drifting back off. A few tears went unnoticed in the gloom.  
  
-------  
  
TBC  
  
------ 


	5. part five

-------------------------  
  
Disclaimer- I own nothing, no sueing for you  
  
E-mail wind_voyager@yahoo.com  
  
   
  
warning- yaoi, rape, Inu X Miroku  
  
In What Dreams May Lie   
  
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Roads to Ruins part 5  
  
R  
  
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He was so soft under his hand, the long strands of silver like liquid as he ran his hands through it, feeling the lovely half-breed jerk slightly.  
  
His soft ears moved, catching the gentle chime of metal rings and whispered words.   
  
Miroku slipped a hand under the damp fire rat pelt, the other forcefully pinning both hands down to the fresh green earth, feeling the rapid raise and fall of Inuyasha's chest as he squirmed slightly, trying to break free of the grip.  
  
His mouth forming words that fell on death ears and soft moans that he tried to keep back as a trail of hot kisses were led down his now exposed collarbone and throat. He wriggled and groaned before falling silent.  
  
Hot breath washed over his ear as the young monk shifted slightly, his tongue tracing the soft outside of the ear, feeling its owner tremble.  
  
Miroku smiled softly, knowing he would respond eventually, even if didn't want to.  
  
Inuyasha went limp under the monk, feeling his hand pull the fire rat pelt from his chest, trapping his shoulders to the ground. He shuddered slightly at the unwanted sensations that washed over his mind.  
  
His breath froze in his chest as Miroku bent his head, his soft lips planting feathery kisses over his exposed chest, taking a nipple between his teeth and gently biting on it gently, enjoying the loud gasp from Inuyasha's parted lips.  
  
Thin trials of sweat fell down his naked chest as he tried to free himself to no avail. He wanted to push the monk off but his body would not respond to his mind's desperate screams.  
  
His back arched and choked cry was ripped from his throat as a warm hand gripped the band of his pants so they were easily pulled off and discarded.  
  
Inuyasha whimpered and tried to move away, pulling his legs closed, his eyes wide with fear.   
  
He shrunk under the heated gaze of the monk.  
  
----------------  
  
Miroku easily captured Inuyasha's wrists and pinned them to the earth with one hand, the other freeing the ties to his own clothing, and binding Inuyasha's hands tightly above his head before letting his own clothing fall to the ground in a soft pool of martial.  
  
Inyuasha managed to flip himself over, the grass wet beneath him, his teeth frantically working at the tight knot in the binds as he felt a shadow fall over him, a pair of warm smooth hands captured his waist.  
  
He fought back with what little strength he had left, twisting and wriggling under the monk.  
  
" You…don't need to struggle Inu… It's …best if… you don't." he whispered into an ear, trapping the youth beneath him. Inuyasha gave no indication he heard the soft words and continued to struggle like a trapped wild cat.   
  
Miroku had to press him to the ground, using his own body to weigh him down as the struggles subsided.   
  
Inuyasha growled and got his legs under him as something warm and hard was pressed against his rear.  
  
Miroku tangled his hand into the long silver locks, pulling the hanyou's head back. Even now Inuyasha tried to fight back, trying to get out form underneath him. He yelped as few tears fell from tightly closed eyes.  
  
He gritted his teeth as his hard member rubbed against the soft white round buttocks; if he kept struggling like that…it would only make it harder on them both.  
  
Using his weight he pinned the struggling half-breed down, his chest pressed firmly into Inuyasha's back.  
  
It was becoming rather frustrating now.   
  
He didn't need to keep struggling under him like that; all he had to do was give in. Just give in.  
  
With one rough shove he slammed his hips into Inuyahsa's, hearing a pained scream follow as half his length was forced into the tight ring, tearing as it went.  
  
Inuyasha struggled with renewed strength, trying to get the monk off his back as pain shot up his hips; his breath came in ragged gasps.   
  
Miroku heard none of it. All he felt was the tight heat around his straining member. He nipped playfully at the hanyou's shoulders as he slowly started to rock his hips into Inuyasha's, who by now had eased the struggle, laying limply under his captor, wetting the ground with unseen tears of pain and betrayal.  
  
-------------------------------   
  
Miruko awoke with a start, feeling the hot, stale air fill his lungs as he jerked awake. His eyes darted around the small room filled to the brim with people. Most of which were busy drinking or pestering the bar wenches.  
  
His hand flew to his chest as his heart raced beneath the casing of bone and flesh.  
  
It had been a dream..no a nightmare.  
  
One that forced him to relive the awful moments of a few days ago, one he was hoping to forget but instead haunted him like a vengeful ghost.  
  
He leaned heavily on the old worn table, feeling the rough broken surface in the lazy darkness of the tavern.   
  
Only the pale, washed out light coming from oil lamps in tarnished, brass wall scones and the small fire roaring cheerfully in the ancient stone fireplace broke up the suffocating mass of shadows and darkness were people milled around the tables and bar.  
  
The air, though warm, was filled with the smell of stale, sweating beer, bodies and smoke. Voices echoed off the walls covered in the heads and hides of all kinds of beasts, both mundane and unnatural. Their empty, glass eyes stared in the dark void that hunted the world, watching the pale ghosts of remorse and painful memories drift to and fro on unfelt winds.  
  
He shivered in the warm air, feeling unwell and sickened at the same time. He ran a hand over his weary face, trying to shake the last shards of the nightmare off.  
  
He raised his head to look out into the milling crowd of humans that gathered like carrion flies to a rotting corpse left in the summer roads. They clustered around, their voices mingling and mixing so no single one could be picked out.  
  
It was a refuge of sorts, a place to leave the dreams and nightmares of the world behind, to lose yourself in the moment and stay until the sun rose and enticed you back out in the wide world.  
  
He had to go back sooner or later, and face the others.   
  
He had to face Inuyasha. And he did not look forward to it.  
  
His arms still carried a vivid and painful reminder of what he was. How long had it taken for it to sink into his mind that the hanyou he had looked to be friend had sunken his fangs into his arm several times out of self-defense, from him?  
  
He slumped slightly.  
  
The half breed was his companion yet he had violated him in the worse possible way.  
  
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End file.
